And I thought Lost in Space was bad.....
but this absolute stinker takes the cake. I have a pretty high tolerance for
lousy sci-fi. But I've had a better time watching a 20 year old piece of
crap like "The Dark" or even "Ocotoman" than watching this "film".
And I don't mind empty entertainment. But you have to turn off far more than
usual to watch this film. You have to give up any sense of discovery, or
ambiguity, because this film has neither. You have to turn off your brain
entirely, from the pacing, the limp plotlines, to the gut churning
photography where a shot more than 10 seconds long that hasn't rotated,
spun, zoomed or swept is a chance to let your stomach settle. The characters
couldn't utter their lines less convincing ways, the supposedly great
special effects were used to support such lousy science it was far more of
an affront than in the old days when lousy effects went with lousy science. Every single scene looks
like a cliche commercial from some product or another. Why do astronauts
have to walk in slow motion? Why do they have to have an explosion of some
kind every 10 minutes or less? From exploding oil wells, exploding cars,
exploding space shuttles, exploding space stations, exploding astronauts,
you get the idea. Just how many explosions can people see in movies before
they get tired of it? The aptly
named Armageddon will doubtless be the movie Satan chooses to use to torture
people in hell, and it would probably have the damned there begging to go
back to burning forever or being eaten by cockroaches after about 6 minutes.
The only mildly amusing thing in the entire movie is the fatalistic Russion
Cosmonaut, but you'll get better value from a 10 seconds of an old Yakoff
Smirnov routine. Don't waste your time or your money on this movie, go do
something less painful like crawling on broken glass.
|Nr of disks/tapes:||1|
|Storage device:||Divx 4|